all neuroses, all the time

Thursday, February 15

oh my garsh, it has been a week and a half since i last posted.

i actually typed a long and entertaining post one day at work, but the computer is so ancient that it wigged out and lost everything. so i was disheartened and gave up.

so i will be in england in a month- freaky! not looking forward to the plane trip, as 13 hours on a plane is a slice of hell for me. but, a necessary evil i guess.

um, me and the hunny went and saw "hannibal" last night, and while i can recommend it i also think it is the most depraved thing i have ever seen. yes, even more so than passolini's "salo."
i know, i know, there is no comparison. but here is my reason: "hannibal" is the first movie i have ever seen that made me:

a.) nauseous
b.) paranoid
c.) cold-sweat
d.) almost faint

actually, it is all of the above. i literally had to put my head between my legs and deep breathe during that last scene. you know the one.

now, i am an old pro at violent or gory movies. i love them, always have. and nothing - not "dead alive," "evil dead," "dawn of the dead," etc. - has ever so totally repulsed me. something about the violence in "hannibal" set me on edge, and by the time of the dinner party at the end i truly felt the theater spinning and things going tingly and black. FREAKY, huh?

it was like an arty snuff film. sort of. so much of it just so gawd-damn unfortunate and unnecessary.

at any rate, go see it.

okay, nighty night. more later, sooner than last post. i promise.

oh, and go check out my pal simdy. and stalk him, too.

Monday, February 5

(back from a business conference in california. he has been gone for 8 days.)


more later.


Sunday, February 4


i don't know what brought all that on last night.

i mean, i know, but how strange that it was only the fourth entry in this very public space and already i'm sharing.... probably a bit too much. hmm.

well, anyway.

it is a beautiful day this afternoon, it looks like spring; i'm going to take the dog to the park and let him chase squirrels and whiz to his heart's content.

i have been hit by this horrible thick black wave of sorrow, seemingly fueled by guilt and nostalgia.
i am missing so many people right now- family, old friends, lovers, etc.

i am thinking too hard about missed opportunities and wrong choices.

should i go to london? why doesn't it make sense all of the sudden?

it is past midnight here, and it is the saddest and loneliest place in the world.


Saturday, February 3


it just so happens i am in the midst of planning a spur-of-the-moment trip to london, and i think that as i am handling the arrangements i just might convince the hubby to go with me. he likes it when i look like i am handling responsibilities, it gives him faith in me.

i think when we first got together he thought i was invincible- tough talking, confident, and a quick wit with common sense. how soon he learned i'm really a big crybaby pussy-boy when the going gets tough. ah well, live and learn. anything to make me not seem like a helpless housewife, lying around eating bon-bons and watching vh-1 behind the music marathons. mr. puritan work ethic can't stand that.

at any rate, it all seems to be coming together just fine. i will know in a few days.



okay, i'm back. like 10 minutes later. but i feel like i "get" this whole blogger process now.

i would like to say hello to david sim now, who probably is still giddy from the impromptu trans-atlantic call he received 9 hours ago.

but honey, when that OCD kicks in, i'm a man with a mission!


well, hello.

i've not ever really kept a journal before. i mean, i would start one and go full steam for a week or two and then get bored and stop. which i might do here, who knows?

at any rate, i'm giving it a shot-



(sound of crickets chirping off in the distance)

um, more later.


< -5 BoyLOGS +5 ? >