all neuroses, all the time

Thursday, February 28

choire has snootily pointed out that this is old news, but i am ignoring him and posting it anyway.

fischerspooner have contributed a beautiful interactive piece to amnesty international's "shine" project, and you can find it here.

i love their design, the concept, the colors, and oh! a new song i think!

Wednesday, February 27

grammy wrap-up, the brucehoax way.

(start down at the bottom of today and read up)

10:39, cranky bad karma

well, the "all star finale" turned out to be pretty light on actual "stars," but did prominently feature a bonafide legend whom i adore, the right reverend al green! oh, and a bunch of gospel people like michael white and those faggot-hating winan sisters. i think they were there. i wasn't paying attention, as once the gospel choir was trotted out i lost interest. i should have started a countdown clock to see how long it would be before somebody dragged out the inevitable black holy-rollers as backup singers for the sheer soulful "cred" of it. of course, al green can do it and get away with it. so, no tacky comment here. well, maybe one more.

the camera pans back during that last number and it looks like the first 5 rows have left the building already. there are parties to go to, drugs and booze to consume, suits to blow and starlets to hump, you know the drill. jon stewart gamely waves goodbye, eric clapton boogies down his skeletal self, and the credits roll. another crappy awards ceremony, another goofy grammies come and gone. and all i can think of is:

man, that natalie maines looked like shit.

goodnight everybody!

10:25, the "old mans of rock!"

hey! that india.aire is pretty hot stuff! i like that song, and i'm always happy to see some life-affirming jah/zen/hookah-pipe reggae-lite noodling get the recognition it deserves. i mean, we need a new arrested development! or de la soul! or ziggy marley and the melody makers! i'll stop now.

so, u2 won a gazillion awards... and i quote my husband, who in his own simple way shows real music business savvy:

"of course they are winning! they are safe rock! they are like the old mans (sic) of rock! they are our old mans of rock! paul mccartney and led zepplin and rolling stones are like great grandfathers of rock now. but u2 is our generation's old mans of rock!"

and you know, he makes sense, in his own peculiar way.

p.s. that celine dion/stevie wonder/bonnie raitt three-way kissing thing was positively cringe worthy, like watching your grandparents neck. and while i love her and her music, bonnie raitt is getting more and more rough and sea-haggy. don't get me started on celine. and i'm glad to see that stevie wonder has not only a healthy appetite, but also some developed psychic powers! he shouted out u2's name before anyone (but most especially he, if i should be so obvious) could even read the envelope. it sure made for riveting t.v., this cornball antics of this "power trio", as celine referred to themselves.


9:52, A RANT.

oh. my. god.

i think i'm going to break down and buy that last mary j. blige cd. her performance was revelatory. i mean, shit. i was speechless.

oh and this:
fuck you, you fucking mealy-mouthed white-bread elitist grammy-corporation-figurehead for your finger-wagging scolding of online music file trading and downloading. it is no wonder people think the grammies are so fucking uncool. "we asked three college-age students to download as many files as they could in three days, and their final total was 6,000 files! and that's just from three kids... multiply that by a million kids and you understand the severity of the is a virus infecting our business, a web of theft and deceipt..." etc. etc. etc. what a fucking square. what a fucking suit. some observations:

new cd's are now $18 to $19 dollars a pop. they cost a dollar or two to produce. the cost about $5 dollars to a retailer. the artist gets a buck or two, maybe. lots of new artists get cents per cd sold, not dollars. now who is fucking who, you bastard corporate prick? fuck you, you snivelling milquetoast crybaby. every year we get a condescending lecture from some white dork, and this year it was all about mp3's. no wonder he was booed by the audience, by the way.

ahem. sorry.

but think about this: the music industry is not about nurturing new artists, and sustaining old successful ones, it's about cashing in on the new flashy trend and rendering it absolutely unhip in the process. if you don't sell millions you are dropped. just ask tori amos, who is without a contract now. TORI AMOS! i mean, she is a faerie/feminist/homo institution for god's sake... but she didn't sell like she used to, and her fanbase wasn't broad enough anymore. watch out bjork, that's all i can say. why am i watching the grammies? i hate the grammies!!!!

9:01, miscellaneous bits, and i'm horny

gwen stefani won a grammy for her duet with eve? excellent.

and "they might be giants" one for that irritating theme song from malcolm in the middle? good for them.

and "the producers" won for best cast album? fab.

er... that's it. that's all i got.

oh, i know:
kid rock is sooo whitetrasheriffic i'd prolly let him mount me, and that's no easy task. but i'd let him. he's hot. ugh, i gross myself out with my white trash fetishes.

8:52, zzzzzzzzzzzz

hey! yawn-inducing-dave-matthews! OPEN YOUR FRICKING MOUTH WHEN YOU SING! and just commit to shaving your head. that hairline is not going to magically get any lower. i mean, peter gabriel did it, and look at him. oh, bad example. he looks like dr. evil in austin powers now.

i love you alicia keys! really i do! and yer outfit is faboo!

8:37, i missed beyonce! and pink!

i've decided to post hither and thither about what i see on the grammies tonight- i missed the first act, which i hear was destiny's child, because i was talking to that damn johnnyagogo on aim. damn him! just kidding, of course. he indulged my crazy sugar high that left me a babbling and spouting idiot. he thought it was funny though, and that's all i can hope for.


the two things that bear mentioning so far for me are:

that guy that sings "i am a man of constant sorrow" is pretty freaking woofy, somehow. man, as long as he has an ass i have a face for him to sit on.

natalie, the lead singer of dixie chicks, should have cooked up a phony sickness and stayed at home this year. i of all people can forgive a bit of thickness on a star, i mean, look at me. but she has gone beyond. is she preggers again? i can't tell. her face was radiant and fresh and made up simply and beautifully. but that bob mackie striped mumu (oh, alright, i'll say it: MOO MOO) was just awful. like something liz taylor would wear to studio 54 back when she was mrs. senator john warner. ugh, horrible. and what's with this new uberslut look of sheryl crow's? i'm concerned. she's too old to be showing that much skin. not that she can't pull it off, she looks fab. but people don't take you seriously when you are all tits and ass. and i oughta know. (that was not a thinly-veiled reference to horsey face alanis, j.go).

okay, more in a bit.

Tuesday, February 26

did you miss me?

well, i hope so. because i missed you. and you. and especially you.

let's see.

when last we spoke, or when last you read, i mean, i told you all of a job that was taking up all my time. and truly it was: weekends, weekdays, and then on to week nights, etc. etc. this was three weeks. i finally put my foot down, and started leaving at 7 or 8, but then i'd come home to work on my other project, the shakespeare in dallas. so i was busy. i have also been back to dallas for the weekend, and lately i have been busy looking for a good used car, as i can't keep borrowing willy's whenever i want to go somewhere. especially somewhere 300 miles away. so, i've had lots of little projects and things on my mind... but don't think i didn't feel like an unfit mother, abandoning her little wayward blog-child, with the disapproving clucks of visitors and strangers echoing in her head: "how could someone just leave this blog to fend for itself?"

well, i'm home, baby.

the show that i just finished is a musical called "once on this island." i'm not too hot about it. it's like a caribbean "little mermaid" if you must know the truth, and the tunes are sing-songy and slight. the story is interesting, though: poor peasant girl is spared by gods from horrible storm, is taken in by kindly couple, grows up and rescues rich boy from deadly accident and in the process promises her soul to death himself in exchange for the rich boy's life, moves to the city to be with boy and nurse him back to health, they fall in love although he is already promised to a snotty bitch, he picks society over true love and weds snotty bitch, girl is told by death to kill the boy so she can have her soul back, she can't, she is thrown out into the street where she dies of starvation and exposure in front of the grand hotel where the boy and snotty bitch live, the gods turn her into a tree, and all is forgiven. huh? anyway, it's entertaining, in that singing crab "under the sea" disney sort of way. and i'm sure bill can more accurately tell us all the details about the production, writers, composers, etc. bill?

so: what did i do? i designed the costume for death, or papa ge as he is called. actually, we called him "papa gay" because the actor was a cute little homo himself. so, i got the preliminary sketches from the designer and she let me embellish enough that i wrangled an "assistant designer" credit out of it... resume fodder, i'm a whore for it. i'll post some pics as soon as i can haul my fat lazy butt to the store and get them developed and scanned, and then over to to remember how to stick them on a page. so, they are coming. i see matt's work at scrubbles and i get all jealous and spiteful and itchy with envy. why should he be the only talented 'mo here in blogland? actually, i'm always impressed at everyone's talents here in blogland. everybody can do something amazing, in my opinion. some draw, some are brilliant critics, some are good writers, reporters, etc... some compose music (as do i, and i'll post those too one day soon), some collect interesting things, or have a knack for decorating, and some just have beautifully designed sites. we rock, my friends! wait: WE ROCK!

with that show over i'm spending my time designing the shakespeare show in dallas. we've gone back and forth: avant garde? purist? minimalist? found object? sleek? grubby? instinctively i blurted out at a production meeting last week that i could toss everything and do it absolutely simply and cleanly with none of the designer cleverness or artifice that can overwhelm a poorly acted or directed show... which this show is most definitely not. it's going to be excellent, the cast, the director, the space, the other designers, everything; it's all going to add up to something great, i think. so my work will match this aesthetic, and i will design something that is simple, and clean, and clear; and this clarity will be sophisticated and true.

oh, okay. it's well-muscled men in skirts. and that's it.

i am a gay designer, after all...

more later, and i missed you guys, again. thanks for the emails and comments missing me.


p.s. go see "gosford park."

oh, and my birthday is in two weeks. i don't want anything, just your luv, luv, luv!

Thursday, February 21

if you are not watching "queer duck" you should be.

besides having some truly funny animated episodes, it's also a clever site with lots of clicky things to keep you entertained... i used to watch this on icecube back when it was still up, and episodes were promised but never aired. and then a year later, showtime picks queer duck up... and becomes the most gay network on television, what with the "more tales" miniseries and "queer as folk."

go check it out.

and by the way, i'm working at a job that takes up all my time. i miss you all.

Sunday, February 17

i guess somebody should really have given him that bloggie.

Wednesday, February 13

5,000 HITS!

and it was someone from, too. i'd like to think it was actually jonno himself, wistful and pouty that i couldn't be there to share a bloody mary with him yesterday morning... and obsessively checking brucehoax to see if i have indeed mentioned him yet again in a post... well, there, i just did.

thanks all of you guys for stopping by and getting to know me, i think you all are just aces!


Tuesday, February 12

what a strange bunch of nominees for this year's academy awards. now, i haven't seen all of the films, and i'm just rolling my eyes here, but ethan hawke? maybe i have such an aversion to him because of multiple gossipy stories about how much he stinks. he's all about the au natural, and has literally brought tears of pain and horror to the eyes of someone i know who ran into him downtown a while back. he's always popping up here in austin, as i think he grew up here. and he brings that wife of his, uma thurman, who i have also heard has v. greasy hair all the time. i don't think they bathe. one time somebody asked me incredulously how it could even be true that somebody with a ton of money and fame would not ever take a bath. and i told them that it was easy: fame is often not the product of hard work and toil, often it is sheer luck. and sometimes you just have to have a pretty face. gross personal habits are not merely relagated to the un-famous or unknown. sometimes the most repulsive and freakish person can suddenly become famous, and america is left in the dark as to their stink, as even the tabloid rags won't report this as it is deemed too petty. well, i'm petty. ethan hawke stinks. literally. or so i've heard.


i see old denzel washington is winning an oscar this year. good. he's done a lot of great work, and this will be a sort of "career" oscar, like whoopi goldberg's or cher's. although i hope his new movie about the dad that takes the hostages to save his son's life is as crappy as it looks, because i always like it when an actor wins an oscar while his or her low-art flop of a new movie is struggling at the box office. or better yet, they are off filming trash like "jaws 3-d" or "jaws: the revenge" (that means you, louis gossett jr., and you michael caine). as for obvious oscar bait like sean penn as"challenged" man (i really wanted to say "retard", but i won't. oh wait.) is going to have a hard time what with his notorious relationship with the press, the industry, hell, "the man." russell crowe: NO. if he gets it i will drive out to hollywood myself and slap someone around. of course, i said that when tom hanks won a second oscar, and when robin williams won one. ah well. and i'll be very displeased if will smith wins it for "ali," and no, i haven't seen the movie, and no, i am not going to, because of a personal vow i made to not support him after he refused to kiss another guy in "six degrees of separation," on the advice of... hey! it was denzel washington who told him not to do it, because it would forever typecast him in hollywood or something. whatever. look at the careers patrick swayze and wesley snipes had after playing drag queens in "to wong foo." oh wait. you're right denzel. i just remembered that tom hanks won his first oscar for playing a gay man that never even kisses dreamy antonio banderas the whole movie. AND HE'S DYING. as for tom wilkinson, i echo the sentiments of all of middle america: "who?"!!!

oh my god. can you imagine if halle berry wins an oscar for "monster's ball"? i'd shit. no, really i would. i'd be so happy. not because i've been waiting breathlessly since her brilliant portrayals of "sharon stone" in that flintstones movie, or of sassy hairdresser "nisi" in "b.a.p.s."- no, i love halle for just being halle. kind of screwy. breathtakingly gorgeous. a good actress (much better than the scowly, always yelling, mostly angry and "strong-black-woman" stylings of angela bassett). and she gratuituosly flashed her titties in "swordfish," just because. she said it was a way to liberate herself to her aversion to on-screen nudity (which she apparently really did get over, if reports of the graphic sex in "monster's ball" are to be believed), but i'd like to think it was the extra few hundred thousand dollars. judi dench, who i adore, and sissy spacek, who i also adore, don't need any more oscars. everybody knows they are great actresses. everybody knows they add prestige to a picture, and up the bar for the other actors and actresses: they make their co-stars work. but come on. the oscars should be surprising, and freakish, and dramatic. think about mira sorvino. think about marisa tomei. think about... well, robin williams. or cher. no matter how much or how little these actors did or did not deserve their awards, you have to admit it wasn't boring. handing another oscar to judi dench is like handing one to meryl streep. pointless.

as for renee zelwig...zelwiegg...zeilwigge... oh, as for her, you know who i mean, i think that she has plenty of time left in her career to get an oscar. she's very talented, and blew me away in "bridget jones," as her body and accent and everything was just right. well, to these american eyes anyway. and i can spot a bad accent, i mean, i have trained inthe theaTUH and most importantly i saw kevin costner in "robin hood." but renee will go on to do more actressy work, while nicole kidman, god love her, has maybe 10 more years with that face before she starts vanishing from public and slyly reappearing smoother, and shinier, and looking wide-eyed and surprised a lot. i think she has lots of talent, and i would love to see her get something for moulin rouge/the others and also for simply having the balls to say on late-night t.v. that she was now able to wear high heels again post-tom cruise. i love her. i loved her in that movie about the boat where billy zane chases her around and tries to kill her, i love her in that old aussie movie where she is a horny schoolgirl, i love love love that final shot of her under the ice in "to die for," and i loved her as the witchy slut in "practical magic." and i thought "the others" was faboo. and "moulin rouge" was my favorite movie of last year. but.... well.... i want halle to get it. oh, okay. nicole. no, halle. nicole. god! wouldn't it be amazing if it was like when babs streisand and kate hepburn won best actress in '68? although, the thrill will be diminished for me as ingrid bergman is not around to say: "ant di vinner ees, HAH! eetz a tie!" now it would just be pissy old russell crowe, grunting and sneering his way through another speech, sarcastic and condascending, and barely seething that he has to do public appearances. he's an ACTOR, don't you little people understand? let him do HIS WORK, not make speeches! ugh, i hate him.

i'll clue you in to my faves in the other categories throughout the week.

kiss kiss!

Sunday, February 10

just this morning i put my man on a plane to go to mardi gras. without me.

when i signed on to these two projects i'm designing, i let everyone know that i would not be in town from the 10th of february through the 16th. don't bother calling or coming by, i'll be in new orleans. bye bye. well. i'm still here, as shirley maclaine sings in "postcards from the edge." but i'm not in a sequinned gown, sitting on top of a piano. although i'd like to be.


the thing i'm working on that opens on the 20th is nowhere near where it needs to be, and i feel guilty leaving the designer in the mess she is in. when i did that last enormous show in november she bailed me out dozens of times, and kept me sane, and let me cry on her shoulder. and yes, sadly, i did cry at one point. like a great big baby. and because of this i feel compelled to stay. i can finish my contract with her early and move on. plus i can go to a meeting in dallas tomorrow night if i want to, and i might, as it's the first read-through of the script and i'll get to meet the actors. one of whom i already have a crush on, just from his headshot. and willy is out of town...

which leads me to another point: william. now, initially he was not happy at all about me staying, and believe me, i was not thrilled either. we purchased these tickets 8 months ago, planned the trip, etc. and i was all prepared to charm the pants off jonno (literally, if you must know) in new orleans, and slosh back a martoooni or two or three and take some incriminating flasher pictures at mardi gras. but alas. the show goes on without me. another time,!

willy was most worried, i think, about travelling by himself; i don't have those kinds of fears, and find my best vacations are those where we split up for a day and do what ever we want without the other. we have fun together, of course, but i like to explore a city solo. he has never been on a trip by himself, where there is no one with him from home, no friend or mate or boyfriend or anything. he was a little weirded out by it all, and so we had lined up a friend to go with him at the last minute; but that didn't work out either and off he went this morning on his own.

i'm not worried he will sleep around. while we don't have a "don't ask, don't tell" policy concerning fucking around on trips like many gay couples do, it is new orleans and i don't want to cramp his style. i told him that handjobs and rubbing around are just fine, but no sucky-fucky. which he is fine with. now, whether he sticks with it is another story, but i just want to make sure that he doesn't bring me back something else from nola besides beads and beignet mix. you know, something... drippy. or scabby. and honestly, we always make little "friends," as we euphamistically call them, on every trip to the big sleazy anyway, so i'm trying to be realistic. the boy has needs.

but he's a tad "country mouse," if you know what i mean. i don't want him to get in to some trouble because i'm not there to spot it. and that's always my function, you know? i have good instincts, and intuition, and i can read a person or situation in a split second and trust my gut instinct. and he needs me for this. but off he went, my little man out in the big city, his belongings wrapped up in an old red neckerchief and tied to a bamboo pole. okay, that's a little much. but you know. he's there. i'm here.

and so, i'm resigned to be stitching and bitching, hemming and interfacing, pressing and serging and pinking and trimming. he'll just be having fun. and without me.


i miss him already. and he's only been gone for an hour or two.

i think i will go stuff myself with dim-sum, so that i will feel full and comforted and satisfied. hey! something fun to bring up in therapy!

Friday, February 8

i'm home. the production meeting went great. they loved my work. i will post some of it when i figure all of that code out. in the meantime, a scarily accurate online zen-style quiz nicked from jonno:

Life for some time now has been somewhat depressing ... and you feel "under the weather". You are looking for a means by which you can escape from all the pressures of everyday life. But you must remember that the "Past does not equal "Tomorrow". You are seeking a way to escape from all the trials and tribulations that oppress you at this time .. But at least you haven't given up .... If one pattern of behaviour doesn't seem to work ... then you'll change it for another....

Being a likeable person .. you get in well with neighbours and friends. You don't need anything to "Rock your boat". You want to "love" and to be loved".

Conditions are rather confusing at this time. You would like to involved with a particular person or a particular situation..... butyou are holding back. You find it difficult to make a decision...

You are presently experiencing excessive stress as a result of self-restraint. You act and think differently from the common herd and you want to be liked and admired for yourself and to associate with people who feel and act as you do...Because of this need to be self-reliant and to break away from mediocrity, you are finding this situation most uncomfortable and you are experiencing considerable anxiety ... perhaps even more than you feel the capacity to cope with. You need to find a "soul mate". Someone whose standards are as high as your own. But where? Keep on searching... The situation is uncomfortable and you would like to break away from it, but you refuse to compromise with your opinions. You are unable to resolve the situation because you are continually postponing the making of necessary decisions. You are stubborn... but this is no deterrent to a happy life ...So why drop your standards ... Think positively ... everything will work out.. It has worked out successfully for you in the past ... and it will again in the future.

The tensions induced by trying to cope with conditions are really beyond your capabilities. This has resulted in experiencing considerable anxiety and stress. You are looking for confirmation from your nearest and dearest that you have the ability and strength to fulfil all of you needs and to be completely self-sufficient.When matters don't go right for you - you tend to become inhibited and blame others for your inadequacy.. You feel that there must be a way out from all the trials and tribulations that you have been experiencing of late ... and you are right... there is a solution... so don't give in - keep searching.

alright already! i'm searching!

Thursday, February 7

well. here i am in dallas, texas, where it is cold and there is snow from a few days ago melting around the pool here at my best friend's house. i am here because i will be attending a production meeting for that show i'm designing at that ritzy avant garde theater downtown, and i will be staying here through friday. i am alternately manic and excited, and then pensive and terrified.

this is my first pro design job, and it could establish a reputation in dallas that will lead to more work and future collaboration. it is a project that lets me work with someone who is going to be very successful, as his ideas are big and his talents are unmistakeable. it is the chance to do some work that will be seen by lots of people, and be reviewed in reputable magazines and weeklies. it will be the first time i've seen some of my college (first attempt) friends in over 10 years, as this is a reunion of sorts of actors and artists that new each other years ago.

this is my first pro design job, and i don't know what the hell i'm doing. it is a project that lets me work with someone who is already succesful and is used to professional collaborators, not someone who has not designed in the community before. it is a chance to do some work that will be seen by lots of people, and be reviewed in reputable magazines and weeklies AND WHAT IF IT SUCKS AND THEY HATE ME? it will be the first time i've seen some of my college (first attempt) friends in over 10 years, and i'm sure they are all still young and trim and there i'll be, old and creaky and wheezy and bloated, with a handful of scribbly drawings and a non-stop stream of nervous chatter.

you see the ever-threatening and approaching neurosis, yes?

okay. it won't be that bad. but it's freaky and scary and wonderful all at the same time, you know?

more coffee. a sit-down. a shower. iron a shirt. some lunch. i'll be fine.

and then it's off to the first day of being a professional.

hey, that felt good!

Monday, February 4

thanks, monsieur proust!

What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?

three years ago

Where would you like to live?


What is your idea of earthly happiness?

money in the bank and art on the walls

To what faults do you feel most indulgent?

over-indulgence, procrastination

Who are your favorite characters in history?

i don't know enough history to say

Who are your favorite heroines in real life?

nobody, really.

Who are your favorite heroines of fiction?

veruca salt, violet beauregard, elphaba the witch

Your favorite painter(s)?

rothko, kandinsky, mondrian, raushchenberg, kline, manet

Your favorite musician?

david bowie

The quality you most admire in a man?

a sense of humor

The quality you most admire in a woman?


Your favorite virtue?


Your favorite occupation?


Who would you have liked to be?

elsa schiaparelli

Your most marked characteristic?


What do you most value in your friends?

absolute devotion

What is your principle defect?


What is your dream of happiness?

a good and simple life doing what i love

What to your mind would be the greatest of misfortunes?

getting sick and slowly withering away

What would you like to be?

moderately well-known

What is your favorite color?

green. blue. blue/green.

What is your favorite flower?


What is your favorite bird?


Who are your favorite prose writers?

capote, dorothy parker, raymond carver

Who are your favoite poets?

e.e. cummings, ginsberg, frost

Who are your favorite composers?

ravel, debussey, glass

What are your favorite names?

bruce, hector, veronica

What is it you most dislike?

boring middle-class mores

What historical figures do you most despise?

don't care enough about history to answer

What event in military history do you most admire?


What reform do you most admire?

any that address unfairness

What natural gift would you most like to possess?


How would you like to die?

holding the hand of my mate

What is your present state of mind?


What is your motto?

"aw, come on."

Sunday, February 3

oh, if i only had a scanner

have you seen the new picture of liza minnelli in last week's enquirer?

why would i have an issue of that trashy rag, you ask? well, m.y.o.b. as dear abby would say.

well. apparently she is marrying (what i imagine is) gay man number 4. or 5. 5? no, i think 4. anyway. he was behind her recent appearances on that gawd-awful michael jackson tribute i lampooned a few weeks ago, and also he is having her promote a new act that i think she is taking to europe. anyway. she's got a kicky new wig (not that horrible "liz-taylor-in-'ash- wednesday' number she had on to wheeze out the national anthem at that baseball game post-9/11; who was that? the yankees? are they baseball? right, girls? whatever. okay... back to flower arranging and sorting my long lavender scarves) that is swept back on the sides and spiky on top, and has dropped -- get this -- 80 pounds. and my goodness she looks good. no, really. i hope she gets her shit together, and she's off the booze and pills, and is doing good things for herself like not smoking and not bingeing on painkillers. but as a certain celebrity drag artiste told me about ms. alan/haley/gero/gest recently, "there's no there there. it's all show biz." poor liza. wait, again: poor liza.

anyway, the picture: go check it out. it's in the "star" too. from last week, though.

when i was a kid i saw "cabaret" on abc when they showed it (highly edited i'm sure) in 1974. when it was over, i turned to my mother and said, very matter-of-factly, "mom, when i grow up i want to write songs for liza minnelli." my mother bought me the cast album the next day, that iconographic black cover with the magenta "lights" logo and liza perched up on top in her garters and derby hat... ah, homo dreams and fantasies... anyway.

i asked my mom a few years ago how she could have heard her 6 year old son proclaim his adoration for ms. sally bowles herself and not suspect she had a budding theater queen on her hands; she replied:

"oh, i knew before that."

so here's to you, liza may! you're a constant tragic touchstone in my big gay life!

Saturday, February 2

hot off the burner:

pixies:gigantic (cd1)
bone machine/tame/trompe le monde/river euphrates/caribou/the happening/there goes my gun/u-mass/velouria/here comes your man/brick is red/debaser/space(i belive in)/is she weird/where is my mind/this monkey's gone to heaven/bird dream of olympus mons/dig for fire/gouge away/holiday song/alec eiffel/oh my golly!/blown away/motorway to roswell

pixies:planet of sound (cd 2)
wave of mutilation/break my body/planet of sound/allison/broken face/crackity jones/head on/something against you/all over the world/dead/i'm amazed/hangwire/distance equals rate times time/isla de encanta/hey/cactus/silver/down to the well/tony's theme/mr. grieves/rock music/levitate me/subbacultcha/i bleed/vamos/la la love you/letter to memphis/baby #13/gigantic/the navajo know

"why do cupids and angels continually haunt her dreams like memories of another life..."

ugh, i'm in heaven!

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