all neuroses, all the time

hey hey hey.

i'm back in dallas, and i'm busy busy. the show i'm designing goes up in two weeks, and it's a doozy. and we just started rehearsals for the charles ludlam piece that i am acting in... and i'm wearing heels! yep, big goofy hairy me in drag. yikes.

willy, however, saw me in the heels for the first time today and told me to take them off, as he "was strangely turned on by them." a whole new kink i'm not ready to get into. i'm not much on wearing women's clothing, it does nothing for me. now, women's shoes, that another story.

hmmm. what else. the train ride home from that hellpit i spent the summer in was fantastic: relaxing, fairly comfortable, not too ass-smelling. but you know, we were on that damn thing for two nights. people start to smell a little... er... personal. assy. anyways.

i had a stopover in chicago, where i'd never been, and i was surprised to discover that the amtrak station let out right at the foot of the sears tower, and that the art institute was down the street a half mile. score! so off i went, i walked over to the lake and looked at the gardens and the boats, and that fountain that is at the beginning of "married with children" (isn't that the one?), and then spent the day in bliss at the art museum. i saw the big name paintings of course, but i was really impressed with their collection of textiles and rugs. really cool, because you never get to see stuff like that. oh sure, here's a le courbusier chair, here's an arts and crafts table, here's a eames table. but rugs? from the last 200 years? no.

incidentally, the "grand jatte," the pointilist masterpiece by seurat, the one sondheim wrote "sunday in the park with george" about, well..... it was not there. just a color xerox about 1/8th the size, with a notice that it is down for research purposes. dammit! ah well. maybe next time when i can stay in chicago for more than 9 hours.

willy tracked my train's progress via the amtrak website, they have a function where you can see a little dot or something on a map that tells you where the train is- so he knew when i was early, late, stopped, etc. that freaked me out, for some reason. in a global positioning radar thingy way.

i'm off to rehearse now, talk at you later.

xoxo
pj
posted by bruce at 5:40 PM

sayonara sugarpie

and so i'm done here in the mountain state for the most part.

due to a scheduling error (detailed in the now deleted rant below) i am stuck here in w.v. for two more days... but soon enough i'll be on that train to chicago, and then home.

i once had a boyfriend in chicago, i mean, i had a boyfriend who i lost track of that moved to chicago. i wonder where he is? it would be great to see him, if he was there. my now ex-best friend used to know how to find him, but would toy with giving me the information as he thought my staying in touch was not healthy. of course, i walked in on he and my ex-boyfriend at southern decadence years ago, going after it in the living room of our suite. that wasn't the thing that made us all exes, though. it was just the beginning.

anyway.

my brother moved to chicago briefly too, and this was after he said goodbye to me tearfully in austin. he cried so much, and i didn't know why. i knew i'd see him again, i mean, we are family after all. i didn't know he was saying goodbye to me forever. my family had drawn sides in their ever present need to self destruct, and i was on the side he wasn't, i guess. at any rate, we haven't spoken since, and this was years ago too.

chicago doesn't have great connotations for me after all, but i'm excited nonetheless. i mean, right outside amtrak is the sears tower, and down the street is the art institute; and i'd be foolish not to see this and this and this. oh wait, that last one is on loan. well, american gothic will have to do.

nothing like good art to soothe the mind and revive your spirit. or something.

and yet, there's a sad little ache in my stomach, and the last small beatings of an old broken heart.

pj

p.s. goodbye west virginia! i won't miss you!
posted by bruce at 11:43 AM

viva le rant

::removed, once i got it off my chest::

home soon,
pj
posted by bruce at 8:29 PM

an update

still here, still queer, get used to it. feeling a little early-1990's, i guess. full of hope and promise, piss and vinegar. to quote ed anger, the weekly world news columnist, i'm pig-biting mad.

not at anyone, really. at myself, mostly. but nothing to dwell on, just to learn from. let's just say changes have been made.

i'm on cold medication, i don't make sense.

i leave west virginia mountain mama in 10 days. i stop over in chicago for a few hours to go to the art institute. then home again home again jiggety jig. no new york, i don't think. i have to go home. i have shit to design, art to create, dogs to cuddle with and a husband weiner to fiddle with. i want my mommy, too.

and how are you? use the comment feature below, it makes me feel high school popular.

xoxo
pj
posted by bruce at 7:44 PM