all neuroses, all the time

Monday, February 17

so in 6 days i move to dallas, and i'm freaking a bit about it; i have a show opening wednsday (that is truly a horrible albatross around my neck- it has sucked the life out of me), and a show with a first dress rehearsal on friday night (which is nowhere, and i mean nowhere near ready), and a house full of unpacked stuff that i am tempted to unceremoniously take to the dumpster, as it would save a lot of brain power to just abandon my things and go.

but. i won't do that.

granted, i have reason enough to walk off one of these projects; plenty of failed communications, missed opportunities, poor planning, "fudged" contracts, etc. etc. etc. but the truth is i need the money, so i'll just be a basket case until next week. whoopee.

how are you guys doing?

Saturday, February 8

"i got a code in my doze, oh, i got a code in my doze. achoo!" (for bill)

i have laryngitis!

which makes it hard to:

a) talk
b) sing in the shower
c) suck dick

all of which i enjoy.

ah well.

my coworkers didn't know what to do with me today. i mean, how do you cope when the class clown is silenced?!!

Friday, February 7

a stone inside my shoe

and so i'm back. oh sure, all two or three of you who have hung in there are saying: "yes, but for how long?", and all i can say is who knows?

all the same, i'm back.

since last we spoke i finished up the christmas show i did, and got some great reviews also, and then i went up to dallas for new years and scoped out neighborhoods to live in, and dressed up as a fairly lard-assed boy george for a 80's new year party peopled with lots of hopeless 32 year olds, and took another job designing a mammoth 2-night (yep, that's 6 hours) show for the crazy woman i worked for last year who almost drove me fucking crazy and single-handedly made me turn into a second-guessing basket case (but yes, it was for the money), and now i'm trying to finish that up and get a musical costumed for that chi-chi private school i worked for in october, and i've hung out with andy and i've heard from a few of you too.

andy was, as expected, brainy, funny, clever, personable, and if i must say so, adorably cute. but then i like my a little ... jewish. now, how i ended up with tall skinny panamanian willy is beyond me, but i'm ever-thankfull, as he is going through an unprecedented period of cuteness and stylishness, all of which was documented by andy in his post. and besides, we are working on our 6th year together, and i'm not worried; all that long-time couple threesome business was started a long time ago, so no big death-knell there.

dallas is going to be great. i've always disliked austin. i like a little snooty, which austin does not have at all. if you like shitty service, ridiculous rent (STILL! THE DOTCOM BOOM IS OVER, GIRL), and more burned-out hippies than you can shake a stick at, well, austin is your place. but i like counterhelp to give a flying fuck, i don't why. i like to be acknowledged. i like to exist to sales people. of course in dallas if you don't look right you are virtually ignored, so 6 of one, 1/2 dozen etc. etc. etc.

all the more reason to get my ass on a stair master, yes?

um, that's about it. well, actually, there's more. but that's it for now.

i missed you all.



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